https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5562hc/34/
Glass
A sudden kiss from Lily. Her lips were colder than I thought they’d be. The thought that it was because she doesn’t have a heart may have crossed my mind.
It’s a waste I know, but I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her away from me.
“Um….what are you doing?”
“Because this is all I can give you….”
I can’t feel the usual composure, ambition, or confidence from this depressed Lily. What in the world did Olive say to her while she was gone?
“Perk up Lily-san. L-Look! I like it when people bully me right? So….uh….it was fun. Those girls were hitting me. The hardest part of the whole thing was how many times I came.”
“Don’t lie. I appreciate you trying to comfort me, but you hate pain right? Why are you always so quick to depreciate yourself…..?”
Lily covered her face with her hands, and tears started to fall before she said anything abusive or condescending towards me. Seeing her like that, was enough to push me over the edge too.
The fact that my tiny bit of concern had been seen through, the fact that she actually remembered I don’t like pain, the anger and frustration over what Dahlia and those other girls had done to me. I can’t even tell you what exactly I am crying over, I just…. am.
Lily was the first of us to pull themselves back together. She hugged me again and started rubbing the back of my head until I calmed down as well.
“You’re safe now. Come, have a seat.”
I let Lily guide me over to a chair and took a seat. I was wondering what she was doing when she then started walking around the room, but my curiosity was quickly answered when she set down a couple glasses and a bottle of liquor.
“There’s no ice….I’ll go grab some.”
“Ah….I’ll go.”
I stood up from my chair, but Lily stopped me with a smile.
“We can both go. I cannot leave you alone again.”
I doubt I’ll end up getting attacked twice in the same night, but if Olive sees me in the hallway on my own again, we’re both going to get it.
“But isn’t it going to cause problems if someone saw me with you? I’m a commoner…. a dancer…. and…. everyone hates me.”
“Does it bother you? Let those who would say such things say it. They’re the ones who will fail when the first examination is finished.”
I took a stray blow from Lily’s casual words. People who are going to drop out after the first cut-off. You could certainly describe Dahlia and her group like that. But if things keep going the way they are, you could also use those words to describe the lowest ranked girl in the whole competition–me.
“Oh…. I wasn’t making fun of you. I was…. you know…. look! Let’s just go get that ice!”
Lily grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room in a rough effort to cover her mistake. The two of us worked together to carry a large bucket of ice between us. However even when I relaxed my arm to pretend I was going to drop it as a joke, we didn’t say a single word to each other.
♠
When we returned to the room with ice, our drinking party began. Lily looked like an experienced bartender with how she dropped three ice cubes into her glass and poured out an amber-colored liquor. Whiskey I think? She poured the same thing into my glass.
“Then, cheers.”
Lily did a pretty pitiful one-man toast, and we slowly started going at our drinks, bit by bit.
There are so many things I want to talk about. What’s with Olive’s sudden change in attitude? What were the tears just now for? Lily’s engagement. And, yesterday.
After taking another sip and a deep breath, Lily started to talk while placing her glass down on the table. Her eyes didn’t move from her cup.
“Olive, used to be a very kind child. She never cared about things like who is a commoner and would run all over town playing with her brother and their friends.”
“Is that right?”
Among all the questions I had circling inside my head, that is the one I cared about the least, but since Lily seemed to want to talk about it, I was willing to listen.
“Her younger brother was named Elm. And one day, they found Elm dead by the river. According to the testimony of his commoner friend, his leg cramped up, and he was swept away while swimming with everyone. Later on, we found out that that was a lie, and Elm had actually been bullied by that commoner child.”
Even though it isn’t something I particularly care about, the story had turned heavy, making it really hard to just pass over it. Lily continued talking without checking to see if I was listening.
“There were two children in the Elijah family. The head of the house refused to take a concubine, so Olive automatically became the next heir. Instead of the family adopting a son to take over, she is working hard to be recognized as a female head. But, with the way the kingdom is, both Olive and her father are having a hard time.”
I have no idea why I’m being told any of this, but I decided to keep my mouth shut for now and listened with a serious face.
“So that’s what happened…. and she came to hate commoners because one was responsible for her brother’s death?”
“Yes. Of course, the only people who she should hold animosity towards are those who bullied Elm in the first place. But, people can’t just hate those they should hate right? People’s targets always expand. You know that yourself, don’t you?”
I’m guessing she’s alluding to how I was attacked by Dahlia and the others. If anyone, Dahlia and them should hate Lily and Olive. No, you could say even that is off the mark. It was a mixture of helplessness and confusion with nowhere else to go that fell on me.
But from my point of view, as the person who is forced to bear that burden, I might understand it, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept it. From where Lily’s sitting, it is someone else’s problem, but I’m the one involved here. I don’t like it when people hurt me, and it makes me feel awful when people act all sarcastic at me.
“So…. because everyone has an excuse, I should forgive them no matter what they do? Olive and Dahlia had their own reasons for attacking me. Good reasons too. Are you saying I should sympathize with them and endure it?”
Lily held out her hands towards me.
“Calm down. I did not expect you to misinterpret things like this. I did not mean to say….”
“Of course not because Lily-san is amazing right? You’re beautiful, strong, and come from a good family background. If only I could be as confident as you.”
I suddenly got so worked up I interrupted what Lily was going to say. I didn’t even realize what I was saying until I’d already said it. Even if we were to consider each other friends, that crossed a line.
I timidly looked up at Lily’s face, and she looked…. indescribably sad. But she was the one to calm things down by taking a deep breath and resuming her story.
“Listen to me. What I was trying to say is that we do not know each other very well. Just like how I did not know you had never used a shower before. Our surroundings and everything that has gone into our lives is completely different. I wanted to tell you that it is impossible for me to give or receive your heart while that is the case.”
“Eh? That….”
That almost sounds like she is saying she would accept my feelings if that wasn’t the case. It came so sudden though that I couldn’t hide my surprise. Plus the fact that she is acting completely different from how she did last night is worrying.
“You caught me off guard last night. And do not misunderstand, there is still much we must learn about each other. Do not forget that.”
“Ye-…. Of course! But Lily-san, what are you going to do about that engagement? And besides, you said I was your pet yesterday. Have you suddenly changed your mind?”
“You’re suddenly energetic…. I take back what I said last night. Didn’t I already tell you? You caught me off guard, and I was not mentally prepared.”
Despite not being mentally prepared, you managed to be pretty convincing after pointing a sword at my face. The question of that engagement is also up in the air, and I can’t guess why she wouldn’t mention it after it’s already all over town. I can’t help but feel that Lily is trying to advance our talk while keeping some secret.
“Lily-san…. um…. are you hiding something?”
“Nothing you need to be overly curious about.”
After saying that, Lily snatched my glass from me and hid it along with her own glass on one of her shelves.
“Oh my, I appear to have lost my glass. Liffy, may I ask you a favor?”
“What…. no…. you just hid it on the shelf….”
Before I could finish speaking, Lily pulled my arm and pushed me down on the bed. I didn’t have any intention of resisting, so I was easily subdued. Or maybe it’d be better to say I’ve been pinned down.
“Liffy. Be my cup.”
I’m not sure what that means, but it obviously meant something sexual. In the end, she didn’t answer any of the questions I really wanted to know. She’s trying to use sex to sweep me away.
I am keenly aware of that. But being swept away isn’t that bad. Plus, I already learned once tonight that I trust people way too easily. Even so, no matter how things end, I don’t think I will ever come to regret trusting Lily.
When I looked into her eyes and nodded my head, Lily began unbuttoning my clothes with a grin.
Experimental Translations 