To have hair across your ass is a saying which means the same as “Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” It means you’re easily agitated. Could I have just changed the title to make it easier to understand? Maybe. The real question is, “Would you really want me to?”
The Hero has Hair Across his Ass
This was a time just before the bingo tournament started.
Before the adventurer guild employees and acquaintances could gather together, a crowd had already formed in front of the guild.
“Hey, it’s the rare black ribbon.”
“That’s right, this is the first time I’ve ever seen it paired with a gold ribbon set like that.”
There were two bundles of Scarlet Laundry that were peacefully hung up to dry, and everyone was amazed at the color of ribbon that was used to decorate them.
Then the two who had been magically put to sleep, woke up.
The giant cried out first. “Why am I being hung!?”
A man who didn’t know what was going on quickly started crying. “Hey, isn’t this a crime?”
Then a member of the adventurer guild who was in charge of watching them until now told them to quiet down while poking their butts with a stick.
“Until someone comes to guarantee your identity, just keep reflecting up there.”
But the giant immediately started yelling at the guard showing that he wasn’t reflecting in the slightest.
“We are the Brave party members Dams and Cliff. Bring us to the Hero Gray at once!”
To this appeal, both the guard and a carriage driver shared a look.
“What do you mean you’re a Brave?”
“The Hero’s companions are laundry?”
Whispers ran through the crowd, and everyone shuffled around. The carriage drivers were annoyed with these guys constantly shouting out how they were Braves and commanding them to let them down.
“Let us down now!”
“Quickly release us!”
“Ah, screw it.”
The guard who was really getting annoyed with their grandiose attitudes stuffed a large fish into each of their mouths shutting them up. In addition, because this was an adventurer guild show, they weren’t going out of their way to find these guys’ guarantors–not that they’d mention that.
While this was going on, the third carriage of the day returned from Lily Garden to the adventurer’s guild. There was only one passenger. While caught in a sense of defeat, she descended from the carriage while sighing.
“I was sick of that place anyway.”
Yes, it was Peach returning after being shamed at the restaurant.
When she got off the carriage, she noticed a large crowd gathered in front of her stop. When she tried to see into the center of that crowd, she saw two large red objects hanging up that were not there when she left this morning.
“What are you guys doing?”
There were two naked men covered in red paint hanging upside down from the adventurer guild eaves. Moreover, the only thing covering their important bits was a butterfly knot of gold and black ribbons. This was a little embarrassing.
“You…why are you guys hanging up?”
Dams and Cliff noticed Peach when she ran up to them in a hurry, but with the fish gags filling their mouths, they could only make their pleas by twisting their bodies around.
“Do you know these people?”
Peach was caught in the stupid sight before her. If she took custody of these two, it would be very embarrassing. However, the keeper judged that Peach was at least acquainted with these two and removed their gags.
The two men began shouting at once.
“Get us down quickly Peach!”
“I’m gonna die! The blood is rushing to my head and I’m gonna die!”
Peach doesn’t know what to do in this situation. The guards and the drivers aren’t giving her any advice either.
Then Dams cried out “Go get Gray!”
“Even though they’re saying that, it would be over if the girl just said, ‘I know these guys.'” Although the keeper is disgusted with Peach’s hesitation in acknowledging them as her friends, he decides to stay silent.
Peach left Dams and Cliff there and started to run as if she was escaping that place.
Then after a bit of time had passed, Gray arrived in a huff.
“What are you doing!?”
Resenting the treatment of his friends, Gray unintentionally put his hand on his sword’s hilt. The intimidation he gave out was overwhelming for the keeper and the horse drivers.
“I would like you to explain this!” Gray approached the keeper with his hand still on his sword’s hilt. The guard took a step back without thinking.
“Get us down Gray!”
“Quickly cut the rope!”
To meet the demands of the two, Gray was about to pull out his sword. However, a voice of restraint called out behind him.
“Oops, are you going to become a criminal as well?”
Gray looked back with fire in his eyes to the person who had suddenly thrown out a question to him. There was an older man standing with his arms crossed before him.
“Who are you?”
The old man was picking his nose as if to make a fool of Gray’s glare.
“When you ask for someone’s name, don’t you know it’s only polite to introduce yourself first?”
Gray’s whole body trembled with anger. He rose his voice and exuded as much killing intent as he could to intimidate the old man.
“I am Gray of Sky Castle and the two people hanging there are my friends. You will release them immediately!”
However the old man did not react to Gray’s threats.
“I am Theseus, the Warren Adventurer Guild Master. It’s nice to meet you Gray of Sky Castle. You said those two criminals are your friends; does that mean you guarantee their identity?”
Did you say criminals?
Astonished by the words of the old man, Gray’s hands reflexively came up in surprise.
“These men were caught peeping at the bathhouse Lily Garden.”
“What did you say?”
Gray’s glare unexpectedly turns on Dams and Cliff. Apparently there is some room to be fair here. Dams and Cliff reflexively diverted their eyes from Gray.
“Have you been convinced?”
“Why are they naked?”
“Because that is Warren’s punishment for peeping.”
Having explained the situation to Gray, Theseus began giving instructions to the guards in the area.
“The guarantor has come to pick them up. Take them down.”
After being taken down and untied, Dams and Cliff unraveled the ribbon covering their privates and became bullish.
“You better be prepared!”
“It’s not just the moonlit night!” (TL Note: A Japanese saying which equals to watch your back at night.)
Theseus ignored the threats of the two, and he instead gave a meaningful suggestion to Gray.
“If you walk around the street naked like that, this time you will be picked up for public indecency. If you’d like, we could sell you a hemp shirt for 10 thousand ril.”
Although Gray wanted to punch him for obviously gutting the price, it was true that he did not have any clothing, so he had no choice but to go along with Theseus’s proposal.
“Get 2 for me,” Gray was finally able to say through gritted teeth.
Theseus accepted the 20 thousand ril from Gray and then threw two hemp shirts over to Dams and Gray.
While Dams and Gray were still complaining, Gray stopped and stared at Theseus. “The Adventurer Guild is supposed to be fair to everyone.”
“This is the Warren Adventurer Guild. Come by anytime, and we will welcome you.”
When the group of three finally left and could no longer be seen, Theseus scratched his head and began muttering to himself.
“Well…I guess I should probably report this to the rest of the council.”
On the other hand, at the same time at the Thieve’s Guild.
“Thank you for giving me the time to meet like this.”
Gise was greeting a lump of flesh that was sitting on a couch in front of him. Such an old man disgustingly distorted his lips.
“Is the Thieve’s Guild at Sky Castle always so stiff?”
“The guild master there isn’t always disguised.”
Baltis, Warren’s thieve’s guild master, laughed satisfied with Gise’s response.
“By the way, if you’re only introducing yourself to the guild, talking to the reception would be enough.”
“No, I would like to buy some information today.”
“Are you sure? My fee is rather high.”
“Yes. It’s information that only the guild master probably knows.”
Gise visited the guild not only to do his greetings, but to buy information as well.
“I don’t know if I can help, but what is it you would like to know about?”
“Details about Warren’s Jewelry Box.”
In the Braves party, Theseus had written that this was the only guy to be wary of.
While remembering that fact, Baltis answered without changing his facial expressions.
“The information fee is 10 million ril, but I will warn you, from the Warren Thieve’s Guild to Sky Castle’s Thieve’s Guild, it is meaningless to ask.
Gise thinks for a moment.
There is no useless information.
And there will be no lies when it comes to information exchanges between Thieve’s guilds.
But Gise hesitates.
Baltis’s words are bothering him.
“That’s fine. If possible, I would like you to tell me about the party as a whole and each member.”
As he made his decision, Gise took out a jewel from his coat pocket.
“This should be worth 10 million ril.”
Baltis took the jewel while smiling, and he began telling Gise everything.
When Gise returned to the inn with a difficult face, Gray was furiously arguing with the Dams and Cliff pair for some reason. Peach was sitting on a bed making a face similar to his.
“What happened Peach?”
“Dams and Cliff’s equipment were taken from them. Legally.”
Gise waited until Gray’s anger had subsided.
The next two days were spent acquiring new equipment and magic tools for Dams and Cliff who had lost all theirs. Purification is indispensable for exploring Wight Labyrinth where an oracle Gray had received told him to go. Moreover, Gray’s sword cannot damage the physically immune wight, so they would have to rely on magic tools and the spells of Peach and Cliff.
In the end, they eventually spent 200 million ril in Warren just so that these two who lost their tools would be decently equipped. Even then, it was only the bare amount of equipment and security. They also couldn’t get some tools that were currently out of stock such as Adventurer’s bags.
On the next day, Gray resumed the exploration of Wight Labyrinth that had recovered.
They had poor magical attack capabilities, so it took them a few days to explore the whole thing, but no matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find the important Demon Lord’s Mark. They repeatedly covered every inch of the labyrinth over a number of days, but they couldn’t find it. Only a few common magic tools and ril were obtained.
As a result, everyone besides Gray became exhausted. Especially Gise who was constantly having to disarm traps and use up all his gear.
Finally Cliff broke. “Gray, let’s give priority to another oracle.”
“You might be right. Let’s try hitting some others first.” Gray made his decision with Cliff’s weeping.
God’s revelation cannot be wrong.
With that being the case, the reason why they cannot find the weapon against the Demon Lord must be because the search order was wrong. So the party decided to move to a different town, follow another oracle, and come back after visiting other labyrinths first.
While getting ready to leave Warren, Gise suddenly remembered the information that the Thieve’s Guild Master had given him.
Gise had not doubted Warren’s Jewelry Box’s claims on that first night. From their appearance, Gise could not see anything other than a group of young and cute girls. But as he started to examine them, their existence became more and more abnormal for him.
Is it because they blend in so naturally to the streets of Warren? No one in the city seems to have any doubts about them. It is true that Lily Garden and the surrounding facilities are managed and operated by the Thieve’s guild and the Merchant guild. The Adventurer guild and the Workshop guild are also involved in the maintenance and transportation of the area. It is a product of the “public works” of Warren. There is no doubt there.
But who pushed the switch?
Gise recalled the information he had bought from Baltis.
One is the daughter of the Adventurer guild master.
One is the apprentice of the Workshop guild master.
One is the secret weapon of the Thieve’s guild master.
One is the favorite of the Merchant guild master.
One is the associate member of the Warren Council.
The second name the city gave to these girls. Warren’s Jewelry Box.
“It’s that kind of thing.” Gise muttered to himself.
Each of their origins comes from a representative of Warren. That’s why their party name has Warren in it. Because starting a fight with them would be the same as starting a fight with Warren itself.
There is no useless information.
However, there is information that cannot be helped even if you know it.
So Gise didn’t tell Gray.
Rather than starting a war, he tucked the information into his back pocket and left for the next town quickly.
At the Lily Garden public bath, three people learned about the song Reeve sang from Frau.
“I’d like to hear it.”
“I want to make a request.”
“I want to hear too.”
In this way, Reeve was forced out of the bathtub and made to sing naked in front of them. The four other girls were thrilled with the appearance and singing voice of Reeve, and they pleasantly listened to her song.
When she was done, everyone else wanted to sing as well.
This was a large public bath.
The acoustic effect was outstanding.
“Next is my turn.” Ellis was too impatient to wait her turn, and as Reeve reentered the tub, she quickly took her place.
Such a thing would have been impossible before for the Hikineet.
“Sing happily in a public bath.”
Before she knew it, Ellis-Eiji had come to enjoy normally spending time with the four other girls.