https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5562hc/18/
Instinct
With my head buried in a comforter, I only had Lily’s smell to stimulate my senses. This isn’t a punishment anymore. For me, it is a reward. But what is going to happen?
“Stretch your legs.”
I straightened out my legs like I was told to. The comforter was quickly rolled up, stopping at my waist. Only my lower body would be visible from the outside.
“U-…..Um…..it won’t hurt……right?”
“It won’t. I don’t have that kind of hobby.”
Thankfully, I can be at ease for the moment. My legs aren’t about to be hacked off.
“You are a mannequin from now on. No matter what I do, you won’t move. Understand?”
I can’t really say I do when you’re suddenly saying something like that. It’s also worrying that I can’t see Lily’s face because of the futon covering mine. When I didn’t respond, Lily continued.
“This is your punishment. You are now an object, not a person. You’ve already admitted to being a pervert rather than a human, right?”
I don’t really think of myself as not human per se. However if you were to ask me if I’m a normal person, I am starting to realize the answer may be no.
“I understand”
My voice was muffled under the comforter. I relaxed my body and decided to assume the position of a mannequin. A puppet with no emotions.
Just like last time, Lily rubbed her face against her doll’s legs. At least I thought it would be the same, but her movements were even more intense than last time. She seems to be more obediently releasing her desires than before.
I no longer felt the touch of Lily’s head. She must’ve gotten out of bed without me being able to see. I thought this meant something was about to begin in earnest, but she must have just wanted to tie her hair back. The tickling feeling of Lily’s thin hair had disappeared when her face returned.
She kept rubbing her cheeks and nose up and down my legs. It would be fine for Lily to do what she wanted, but I was starting to think something was causing her to hold herself back from doing what she really wants.
“Um…..is something wrong? You can do more if you want?”
Lily stopped moving. After a few seconds passed, the blanket was flung off of me. The sudden flash of light forced me to close my eyes, and the breath of fresh cold air blew over my sweaty face.
When I could finally see again, Lily’s face was so red you wouldn’t be able to tell it apart from an apple.
“I….don’t know what I’m supposed to do next! The words always spill out whenever I look at you. My body just moves on its own. But then my brain suddenly understands what’s going on, and my body stops!”
“You…..don’t know?”
“So…..I am interested…..but I lack the knowledge. Tell me. You have a lot of experience, right?”
Her watery eyes and restless fidgeting would make you wonder all that confidence from before had gone. Lily comes across as having high pride, and with her higher position, it was probably hard for her to bring this up.
But I have zero experience with a man or woman. What made her think I did? Does she think I’m that kind of person just because I am a dancer?
“N-…..No no. I don’t know anything either! Are you looking down on me because I’m a dancer? Is that why you think I’m experienced!?”
“Y-You’re wrong! You were acting obedient even to an amateur like me, so I just assumed you had experience with this. I wasn’t…..looking at you…..like that…..”
Her downcast look and excuses made it feel like she was really answering “Yes,” to my question. I couldn’t shake my suspicions, and all I could do was take deep breaths through my nose to try and control my anger.
“It’s true! I really didn’t have any prejudices! I thought you were beautiful when I saw your dance! To me, who always thought dancing was something pointless you did at parties, the commoner’s dance you showed me was really, truly…..beautiful…..”
When I was wondering how quickly Lily could throw words together, her tongue started tripping over itself, and tears sprung in her eyes. Those tears made me remember. Lily was the first one to applaud my dance during the debut.
She applauded while not caring what anyone else thought, without expecting anyone else to follow along, and with an attitude as if it was fine even if it was her alone. There’s no way someone like that would be prejudiced against dancers.
Perhaps she was hurt by my accusations or maybe she was moved by remembering my dance. I don’t know the reason why, but Lily was crying.
For the time being, I decided to settle the situation by wrapping my arms around her back and giving her a hug. This isn’t for enjoying her scent. I just wanted to comfort her.
I tightened my grip and brought her in close. Her arms hung down limply at her side, showing no sign of repeating the gesture.
“I’m sorry. There’s no way a respectable person like Lily would think something like that. I said something rude, so please, punish me however you like.”
“That’s why…..I said I don’t know how.”
A side of me I didn’t even know I had suddenly began sprouting over the last couple of days. Well, rather than sprouting, perhaps it’d be more accurate to describe it as a full blown blossoming. Lily made me realize this part of me. I even surprise myself with how fast I’ve had this awakening, so it can’t be helped if someone else thinks I’m experienced with this kind of stuff.
Lily reluctantly moved away from me. She is no longer the ruthless queen but rather a lady raised in a birdcage and stripped of her disguise. She really doesn’t know anything beyond what we already have.
That gleam in her eyes when she is looking down on me, the ecstatic expression she showed when I sniffed her underwear, and that usual cold demeanor where all part of her I love. She has the chance to blossom as well. That should be the case at least, but her rationality is holding back her instincts.
Just as she pulled out my instincts, I want to help guide her. For my own sake sure, but also so she can deal with these feelings springing up inside her that she doesn’t know how to control.
After exposing her weakness, Lily seemed more timid than ever. Forcing anything else onto her would just make her feel worse, so I decided to talk normally with her. Come to think of it, I needed someone to watch me dance.
“Hey, my coach told me I needed to have someone watch me practice dancing. Could I show you a little?”
I changed the subject suddenly, but since Lily knew she wasn’t in the mood to bully me anymore either, she nodded slightly and took a seat on her bed. I then moved away, taking a spot at the center of the room in front of her.
Experimental Translations 