https://ncode.syosetu.com/n9531ga/78/
Automatic Door Posing
It was a short walk from the movie theater. Four of us walked out of the bathroom together into a sparsely populated area. We left Ranko behind at a bench to watch over our stuff, and as we came back to her, a strangely stylish and handsome man was just leaving her side.
“Something wrong Ranko?”
“Wasn’t that some ikemen there~”
Honoka and I asked about it at the same time. Ranko took one look at us before letting out an “Mm,” and turning her cold gaze towards the distance.
“He was going on about something or other of me being a model. He wished to take a picture of me, but I turned him away since it was making me feel uncomfortable.”
Ranko had her eyes narrowed and continued to stare into the distance after our questions as if she was genuinely angry. The guy was pretty good looking, yet you can tell from her eyes just how thoroughly disgusted she was from the encounter. Does she hate men or something?
“Hohoh! Wasn’t he talking about that reader model thing!?”
“Poison….? He’s a poisonous plant?”1
“No no Yuzurin. A reader model. Meaning she could end up featured in some fashion magazine or something!”
“Oh-!”
It sounded like we were explaining something to a small child. I got to see a rare older sister moment from Honoka.
“And it’s amazing that someone called out to Ran-tan.”
“No, he may have been a photographer, but there is no guarantee that they wanted me to be a model…. Though, I am beautiful enough to be one.”
“Oh no! The cool beauty Ranko-sama is the strongest!”
“I know, I know.”
Ranko started getting carried away and wrapped up in Honoka’s antics. ….Her habit of wanting to act like a mature adult generally makes me think she’s a chuunibyou like Yuzuriha, but I guess there is also a bit of her narcissism wrapped up in it. Is that cute? It’s actually incredibly cute.
“Ranko is beautiful, cool, and cute. So of course someone would want to call out to you.”
“T-That’s right. You can say more.”
She gets a little embarrassed when I praise her. I don’t know if that is because I’m the one complimenting her or because she was called ‘cute’ though.
We all started throwing compliments towards Ranko, getting her worked up. Everyone besides Saki who had been watching intently before slowly walking up to my side.
“I-I’ve been approached several times on the street as well.”
“That makes sense. Saki is so incredibly cute after all.”
“Mmm, Mmm”
Is she trying to compete with Ranko? I didn’t dare say something as tactless as ‘You’re cute too‘. And it’s not a lie either. Saki-chan whispering into my ear like that was definitely cute.
♠
Even though we just finished watching a movie together, Honoka led us down a side road, talking about how she, “wants to do some karaoke, even if it’s only for an hour!” Despite it being a huge building, there was almost nobody else around as Honoka waved us over.
“This place has an automatic door~ I know, let’s all strike a pose. Aim for the moment it opens!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Good….that’s good….”
“Is it?”
Despite my skepticism, Yuzuriha was enthusiastic about the idea. Obviously I understand what it is she’s suggesting, but sometimes I have a hard time following along with her sudden bouts of excitement.
“Well well~ It sounds fun, so what’s the harm in humoring her~”
“Embarrassment? It’d be absolutely embarrassing doing this in public.”
Saki brushed off my objections and surprisingly went along with Honoka’s idea. But no matter how I think about it, the idea of someone walking past and seeing us doing this is enough to make me sweat.
“What about you Ran-tan?”
“……”
Ranko brought her hand to her chin and began seriously thinking about Honoka’s question. The way she kept glancing towards me gave the impression that she was pretending to put more thought into it than she really was. A narcissist to the very end.
“All right, time! Ran-tan’s vote is invalid, so we win 3 to 1!”
While Ranko was giving me the side-eye, Honoka moved the issue along without her. She was a little thrown off at first, but Ranko soon laughed it off. “It can’t be helped,” she said. But maybe it was always going to end up this way. Everything aside, we’re dealing with the cute narcissist Ranko after all.
The five of us lined up in front of the automatic doors leading to an elevator. The first one to step forward was Honoka of course.
“Then after me–“
“Me….first….”
That triumphant step was foiled however when Yuzuriha grabbed Honoka’s arm and pulled her to a stop. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Yuzurin be so forceful.
“Really? Well, go ahead then.”
Honoka was surprised at first, but she seemed happy to let Yuzuriha do what she wants after. Having fun doing silly things with everyone is probably what she is looking for more than anything else.
“Spirits born from lightning’s strike. Hear my wish, and open this door! Slide actuation!”
Standing in front of the door, she placed her palms together like an onmyouji. She performed a chant as if she were reciting a spell before turning around and proudly puffing out her chest.
“Oh~!”
“Hmm”
“Well executed”
“Yuzu-chan is so cool~!”
“U-Uhehehe….”
However, perhaps because of her inherent shyness, a smile crept across her face and the cool pose she struck crumbled away. The contrast between her act and her general clumsiness is also cute.
“Then next, is me!”
“Huh-!? Seriously- Everyone’s so excited-!”
Seeing Yuzuriha throw herself into it, Saki went in with high spirits. Honoka got even more hyped with two of us putting in the effort and took a step back.
Saki skipped on ahead of us. She then put both of her pointer fingers to her cheek, and just as I was wondering what she was doing lifting up one of her legs up behind her….
“Everyone’s idol~? Chasorin!”
While sticking in that position, she speaks in a cute voice similar to what you’d expect from a celebrity.
“Uh….hm?”
What’s with that pose….I screwed up, being too confused by what was going on to say anything.
“Hard to understand….from behind….”
“Hmm….”
“Gabi-n!”2
She turned around, placing her hands on her cheeks, and dropped her jaw….she was going for a sight gag? Rather than thinking it’s funny, I’m thinking that this princess is so cute I should take her home and put her on display like a piece of art in a shop window. I want her to be only my princess.
From among the rest of us, Honoka step towards Saki obviously curious.
“Hey, who’s Chasorin?”
“A-A nickname my friends gave me in Kindergarten…. They’d say, ‘Saki-chan is like an idol princess’…. so they started calling me Saki-Chasorin….”
“Hohou~”
Yuzuriha tilted her head out of disbelief, but this one carried on with a genuine smile. Saki-chan’s head fell even lower, Honoka’s pure joy over the situation just making her embarrassment feel even worse.
But for her to bring up a joke that came all the way from Kindergarten rather than middle school or even elementary….that’s a bit of a deep cut isn’t it? Maybe she just really took those compliments to heart, but the hypothesis that Saki had a hard time in school before this is gaining more credibility in my opinion. Obviously she’s cute no matter what, but I’d love her even if she turns out to be an unfortunate beauty.
“Just Chasorin won’t have anything with the name ‘Saki’ in it though.”
“Saki-chas…..Chanso-rin?”
“No no, you need to go even farther! Chaso Chaso Chasorin, the greatest idol ever!”
Ranko and Yuzuriha were still having trouble wrapping their minds around the issue, but Honoka was leaning all the way in. She wrapped her arm around the growingly depressed Saki’s shoulders to act like a producer, all the while pretending to arrogantly smoke a cigarette between her fingers.
“I like it, it’s good! I’ll just call you Chaso for short from now on~!”
“I-Is there a need to go that far…..?”
“Don’t you worry about the details! I know, let’s have you end all of your sentences with ‘chaso’ from now on as well!”
“T-That….”
At this point Saki was just staring at her feet, unable to say anything more.
“That’s….no….chaso….”
Oh my god~ She’s just so good~!!
I came over and also started patting her shoulder to try and give her some comfort,
“The idol Saki-chaso is incredibly cute, so why not give it another try?”
and then thoroughly enjoyed twisting the knife.
“O…..Okay, chaso….”
Uhehehe!! It feels so good being bad!~!!
“Then I’m up next-!”
*Tmp* *Tmp* *Tmp* Honoka dropped the joke and bounded towards the door. So we’ve gotten to the girl who wanted to start this whole thing from the beginning. Everyone cleared their throats and watched her expectantly, wondering what kind of amazing one-off joke she had that made her so excited to perform.
She placed her hand against the door. Then before it slid on open….
“Ungh!”
she pretended it was some kind of heavy wall that she could barely push open.
“Put your….back into it!”
“Yuu-chan, nice assist! Thank you”
Honoka threw back a smug thumbs up like some athlete who’d just managed to score with a little help. However the rest of us couldn’t hide our disappointment as our expectations where completely betrayed.
“So….ordinary….”
“I couldn’t help it! I couldn’t think of anything better than everyone else’s! You all have so much individuality!”
Honoka wanted to do something fun with everyone and just threw out the first thought that came into her mind. The fact that she never really thought about what she herself was going to do proves how she acts before she thinks, but that is also cute. It’s a fact that an excitable, full of energy girl is brimming with cuteness.
“Maybe I should’ve tried yelling ‘Open sesame’ instead?”
“No, that would have been even less original than what you did do.”
“Mm….”
“Well I’m sorry-! I never expected those two to be so good at this-!”
She tried defending herself a second time. Even though this whole thing was her idea, she’s probably disappointed that her turn fizzled out.
“Well it’s over now anyway. You can just try again next time.”
“Gunu….”
When I patted her head, Honoka showed the dictionary definition of a frustrated face. The fact that you can easily tell what she’s thinking really is another one of her strengths.
“Then as for me….”
I stepped up next, using the flow of the story to figure what to do next.
“Ah, since the three of you already took your turn, would you mind waiting inside?”
I quickly turned around and asked for Saki, Yuzuriha, and Honoka’s help. I’m going to need a little preparation to make this work.
“Is it something we won’t see from out here-? It’s not a problem anyway-“
The three girls obediently did what I asked and went through the door. When they asked why I didn’t want Ranko in there with them, well, it’s because it would be embarrassing for me to be standing out here by myself.
“Could the automatic door cause a problem and cover up your voice?”
“It’s nothing to worry about. I’m not doing a line anyway.”
There was a thin wall of glass between me and three girls. Each of them were standing there ready with a mix of either concern or anticipation. There’s no need to worry though. I don’t need to talk to give you all the cheesy line you’re looking for.
I lightly waved at them as if I were about to leave and spun on my heels, putting my feet together.
Ranko was silently waiting a step away with her arms crossed in front of her. I undid the permanent, sunny smile I had to make something sharper and more cynical.
And――――
I pivoted off my left leg and spun around again. As I turned to face the door again, I stuck out my left arm to take up the gun pose.
“Bang”
I shot out each of their hearts. In pretend.
Me pushing out my hand activated the door’s sensor, so in the instant I fired my gun, they automatically opened. Uhehe. Just like I planned.
“Whoa-! Right in the heart-! So bad-!”
“Yuri-chan! You were amazing! And so cool!”
“I have….heard your love….”
“Ahaha! I guess this means I can take the win!”
The praise was being heaped onto me. I was worried one of them would get upset by my act, but it’s relieving to know that it’s gone so well. I could easily imagine that not going over well if they all weren’t at least a little weird.
“You’ve done well for yourself huh?”
Ranko patted my shoulder as she walked past. I know her arrogance is slipped in there, but it’s always nice to receive some honest praise.
♠
“Ah! Ran-tan’s the only one who didn’t do anything!”
That was the cry that broke our group laughter as we came in front of the elevator.
“What?”
“Our automatic door posing! You casually walked in along with Yuu-chan!”
“Hmm….? Did I? Oh, the elevator is here. We should hurry on before causing any trouble for the other people here.”
“Ah! Wait wait!”
Honoka hurried after Ranko while the rest of us followed along.
A silence fell over us once the elevator doors closed behind us. We weren’t the only ones in the elevator, so the conversation kind of fell off there.
However once we saw those people off on the next floor, that silence immediately died away.
“Did you think you could get away!?”
“If I did, I would not have gotten into an elevator.”
Honoka wasn’t going to give up. She stamped her foot onto the ground hard enough that the entire elevator shook….
“Uee….”
“A-Are you all right Yuzu?”
“E-Elevator sickness….”
“Okay, it’s okay~ We’re almost there~”
“Honoka”
“S….Sorry”
Honoka scratched the back of her head while giving Yuzuriha a bow. However, once Yuzuriha’s expression softened thanks to Saki rubbing her back, Honoka immediately turned her attention back on Ranko.
“If nobody else gets on when the elevator doors open, I want to see Rantan’s pose.”
“Ranko-chan’s, dynamic pose….I want to see…. Uuu….”
“I think I’d like to see it too~”
“Ranko?”
“Once Honoka turned her finger towards Ranko, Saki and a sickly-looking Yuzurin were immediately on board. Even I was patting Ranko’s shoulder, urging her to just give up.
“Hmm….a bet then…. Well if those are the terms, I suppose I can go along with it.”
We went past the second floor without anybody else coming on board.
“Get ready! The first floor is coming up!”
“No need to worry. I have already thought up my performance.”
That sense of falling slowly disappeared, and my head grew heavier. Honoka and I were watching the door while waiting for it to open, and Saki continued to hug Yuzuriha close while rubbing her back. Ranko took a deep breath, preparing herself to the fullest in front of the door to a room big enough to hold twenty plus people.
There was an electronic beep. In the instant the door slid open, Ranko stuck out her index finger, and――――
“I….I, love, you”3
She snapped her fingers with each word she said, giving her confession a rhythmic pattern as the door opened.
The doors slid on open. Ranko turned her gaze down towards the floor away from her snapping hand. Combined with her lines, she came off incredibly cool, narcissistic, and excellent…. Just as she looks. It was a treat to watch….but for her sake…..
“Ah….”
Even with her face turned towards the ground, you could still see the horror running through her entire body in that moment. She performed her act, and on the other side of the elevator’s open door….
“S-Sorry. I’ll catch the next one.”
♠
“Pfft…. R-Rantan…. You, shouldn’t worry. Heheh….”
“I have never once in my life ever felt this humiliated before….”
“Come on, let’s go.”
Ranko had buried her head into her hands, so I wrapped my arm around her waist to give her some support and guide her forward. She tries so hard to always look cool, yet she completely withers away after a little bit of embarrassment. I’ve never seen her look so weak before.
The two of us quickly gained some distance from our gaggle of giggling friends to take a seat on some benches in the hall.
“Are you okay Ranko?”
“Just a minute…. give me a little time…. to rest….”
She was clearly depressed, resting her forehead on her clasped together fingers. Is this going to require a follow-up?
Thinking it would, I brought my mouth close to her ear which was already a bright red even without her realizing what I was doing.
“But you know, you really did look….amazing back there.”
I whispered sweetly into her ear.
Her face finally shot up off the floor, but that red blush ended up traveling down from her ears and covered her entire face.
“You idiot….”
Ahh~, teasing cool, beautiful girls really is the best.
- Satoru mo = reader model. Doku mo = Poison.
- This is a sound effect from manga associated with a specific type of surprised face. Saki says the sound effect aloud while making that face. Here is an example of what that looks like.
- Ranko starts talking in Japanese but switches to English in the second part.
Experimental Translations 