Episode 50: Gumgum Gummier Gummiest
“Do you like gummies?”
Completely tired of doing her homework and lying across the table in exhaustive defeat, Honoka raised a question.
“Gummies? Oh yeah, should we have some sweets?”
We were having ourselves a tea time while listening to classical music.
“I suppose you didn’t bring any sweets with you then Saki?”
“I’m afraid so. I didn’t bring any tea confections with me~ Sorry~”
“No no, I didn’t mean it like that. Honestly I would feel bad if I made you go that far for us Saki.”
I wouldn’t expect someone to prepare gummies for tea time at the best of times. But, it seems like we don’t have any kind of sweets to have with our tea.
That being said, what is with the preparations Saki already put into this? She would make a terrific mother after all right? Would you raise a child together with me? Or will you take me on as your kid? Mama!
While I was reveling in my delusions, Honoka began passing along gummies to us She had to drop them into our hands since we didn’t have any saucers, so I took the initiative to distribute wet wipes to everyone. It’d be a problem if we continued studying with our hands dirty. I don’t like the idea of having sticky fingers and then rubbing them across our papers.
“Thank you Honoka. …….Ah, grape. My favorite—”
“Hey hey, you should have some too Yuu~ Oh! Don’t chew yet! Lick it till it melts and really *really* savor it, like true gummiers!”
“Yep! Gumgum gummier gummiest! So that we may ascend to peak gummierhood, let us gumgum upon ever tastier gummies!”
“You’re strangely particular about this……”
“A tiresome girl…..”
Not just Ranko, but even Saki looked exasperated. None of us are looking to be gummiers, so it is fine not to force anything on us right? You’re only going to bother people by imposing rules on how they eat. In Ranko’s case, she likes to thoroughly chew her food and savor the taste. She looks so cute she has to be doing this on purpose.
Well, when it comes to Honoka, tiresome is something you should expect going in. That’s what makes her so fun.
“Ah, Rantan! Don’t go nibbling on it after getting a small taste! Are you looking to lose out on life!?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It is delicious.”
“But you’re missing out on fifty percent of what makes life so great like this—!”
“Hm? What’s the other half?”
“Not the kind of answer I was expecting.”
Don’t look at me like that. Not all of my comebacks for Honoka’s jokes are going to be zingers.
Honoka let out a pained groan as Ranko began chewing her gummy even more voraciously than before. There’s no need to so thoroughly chew through a gummy though right? This kind of playful bullying is cute in its own way.
It was then that Yuzuriha held her hand to her throat in obvious pain.
“Uu, I swallowed it!”
“What? Are you all right!? Does it hurt?”
“You…….!? Someone, do the heimlich!”
Yuzuriha waved her arms in the air to let us know she was okay before we could all jump to her side. Each of us sat back in our chairs in relief and took a deep breath.
“It’s not like gummy candies can really get stuck in someone’s throat after all……but the reason why Yuzuriha had to go through that pain is because Honoka told her not to chew. Apologize.”
“Wai-……..why the commanding tone!?’
“Even a gummy will hurt if you swallow one whole~……”
“She probably didn’t get to taste the gummy at all, and I’m sure she will think about this every time she has a gummy from now on.”
When Saki and I added our own thoughts to Ranko’s call for an apology, Honoka obediently lowered her head towards Yuzuriha.
“Sorry Yuzurin. It hurt didn’t it? I wanted everyone to have fun while eating gummies together. I figured we could comfortably suck on them while enjoying the taste……”
“This was……my fault…… It couldn’t be helped…….. I wanted to see what it was like……to be a gummier like you!”
“And they lived happily ever after…….I guess?”
“I’m so glad they could make up~”
“As lone as they reflect on their actions…….all’s well that ends well.”
The three of us nodded while Honoka and Yuzuriha shared a hug. For the record, there was never any quarrel to be resolved, so it’s just them having fun again.
There was a small hiccup there, but otherwise we were able to leisurely enjoy our time together while chewing on gummies. I have to say, listening to Honoka passionately talk about the correct way to eat gummies was interesting. Specifically, watching all the faces she made while energetically motioning her arms over her head was a thing to behold. This girl has her own way of thinking, so it is never boring listening to her go, even if everything she says is complete nonsense.
“So in conclusion! Fruit gummies are a miracle of science. Each one is packed full of all the juice from a single fruit. Now I’m sure you’re asking, how is it possible to fit all the juice from an entire fruit into a small gummy? The answer, is human ingenuity! And a sprinkle of God’s magic.”
“Fufufu…… It’s almost like you are part of a commercial~”
A commercial espousing the idea that Japanese food companies have harnessed the power of God. But of course, we’re talking about fruit juice here, so no matter how you cook it, it isn’t going to transform into a gummy. Can you even count gummies as being a by-product of fruit juice? At most I would think you could make a thick jam or crispy film.
“Honoka, don’t you know? Fruit gummies are not 100 percent fruit juice, and there’s only around a single fruit’s worth of juice in every bag.”
“W-What did you say!? You mean I can’t get an entire day’s worth of fruit from eating a couple gummies…….!?”
“Now now…….wouldn’t it be terrifying if it were true? If you ate a ton of orange gummies, your body would end up turning yellow.”
“Scary…….! It’s like they’re a cursed weapon!”
“The human yellowing plan…….a mad Japanese scientist’s plot to turn all the people of the world yellow, thus ending all discrimination based on skin color……”
“Scary! Maybe I should stop buying orange gummies…….”
“If that were true, don’t you think it could be fashionable……?”
Honoka shivered after hearing Ranko’s story, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and curling up into a ball in her chair. Yuzuriha meanwhile was looking a little more thoughtful as she pictured a world with yellow-skinned people. The value of fruit gummies is tanking, and it is all because of something as pointless as a misunderstanding of fruit juice concentration. Stocks are taking a nosedive as we speak.
“Thank goodness I got the safe grape flavor this time—. Hey Yuu, you like the green ones don’t you? Is melon your favorite flavor?”
“Melon candies sometimes have this artificial taste to them, so it depends on the candy honestly. Oh, but I do really like the matcha flavored ones.”
“Heh~, it feels just like you to like the green candies Yuu~ They’re the same color as your panties!”
Well yeah, green is a calm color, so I…….why do you know the color of my underwear!?”
“Huh? Because I peeked on you while you were changing for PE?”
Tch, even though I changed clothes in a corner of the locker room underneath a jersey to hide my embarrassment…….
“Ah……that was supposed to be my little secret……! But don’t worry! My mouth is as stiff as a gummy bear!”
Honoka grinned and gave me a thumbs up.
“You’ve already let the secret slip! And gummy bears are super soft, so I wouldn’t have trusted you to begin with!”
“Please call this number for any and all low interest gummy loans.”
“Are you a gummy credit union now!? That doesn’t make any sense!”
Are gummy bears the currency of the future or something? As usual, Honoka lived up to her status as a strange yet beautiful girl and successfully teased out of me a string of strange and senseless comebacks.