Section 1: After the Battle, Rumors Abound
What do we name that which gives birth
Mother of the holy peaks Mills Daetta
Pound away the blur from polished steel
Change its shape until it can protect us all
Then forge your arms and legs to match the steel
Pull together with pride and dull light
What do we name that which we raise up high
Tis a shield
Form of steel that governs us
Hold it high and nothing can break us
Hard, tougher than anything else, armor that is the light of our lives
Raise your leg, stick out your foot, and march forward
Move out with courage, an impenetrable bulwark
What do we name that which we wield
Tis a sword
Form of steel that governs us
Elegant and sharp, we bury our enemies
Swing, until you’ve used everything you have, be heroic
Bring them down with pride o’ fatal sword
What do we name those who sing
They will be knights
Those who have received the blessing of the swaying silence, the Goddess Illya
In reverence we hold your esteemed heart in our chests
With decorum and love as our proposition, we offer our loyalty to our comrades and Goddess
So sing, raise the name of Illya up high
Walk with the name of our lord, Riviera Von Iliana
Four days have passed since Sanz Wanz’s attack on the capital.
According to Yuhanna-sama, the capital is now filled with the echoes of people singing the warrior’s verse.
There is a group of knights who, engraved in a heroic poem passed down over the centuries to now, has existed in legend for the people of this country.
The fact that those legendary knights have been reborn in the modern era has been spread far and wide thanks to King Olivar-sama and Archbishop Marie Arone-sama’s efforts.
The deep depression that had overcome the city because of the damage was blown away all at once when word was made.
Apparently people crowd around the church every morning hoping to catch a glimpse of the knights who slew the legendary dragon Sanz Wanz just as it was resurrected.
There was another reason why the capital managed to regain its brightness so quickly.
The destruction from Sanz Wanz was mainly concentrated between the fifth and seventh walls, meaning most of the damage was done to people’s homes.
Fortunately though that area consisted of mostly noble mansions, so the damage to humans was much lower than what the devastation would have suggested.
I heard there were some who were burned from the fires or broke bones from escaping, but nobody died.
When I heard that, my mind immediately turned to Grides.
If she hadn’t been there, if she wasn’t a noble woman, if she wasn’t a true aristocrat, there would have been those who had been caught in the fires and lost their lives.
The fact that there were no fatalities hung on the people’s mouths as a miracle brought on by the Goddess and created smiles among the citizenry.
“The Goddess protects us,” has created a sense of relief in the city.
The name Sanz Wanz which once inspired fear and awe has gained new meaning in the minds of the populace, becoming surprisingly light and associated with bright, fun memories.
For everyone except me alone.
[Iris]: “So cruel…..it’s not true……”
I’m currently inside a room in the castle.
A large room the king grants to his guests, the one we always sleep in.
I’m in my usual spot, my butt sinking into the sofa capable of ruining lives with its softness, staring at the ceiling while my soul escapes out of my mouth.
[Toslin]: “Are you still saying that? Just give up already.”
That was the armor wearing Toslin.
Her long golden hair shined white like raw silk from the setting sun.
[Iris]: “But…..like this, I will…..”
[Carol]: “It’s fine, isn’t it? It’s Iris-ish.”
And that was Carol. She’s moving to the right and left of Toslin, fixing her armor fasteners with a deft hand.
[Iris]: “I don’t have that kind of personality!!”
I kicked my legs while sinking further into the sofa. My feet feel warmer than usual after Noelia-san massaged them.
[Carol]: “Hah…..I don’t really get it since I wasn’t there, but how did this happen again?”
[Iris]: “You’ll listen to me Carol?”
[Carol]: “Because if I don’t ask, you aren’t going to stop sighing.”
[Iris]: “No, it won’t stop until you listen and then comfort me afterwards.”
[Carol]: “…..hah, well I already asked, so let’s talk”
I’m getting a clear ‘how annoying’ coming from these two.
But I love them because they’re still willing to listen.
[Iris]: “…..Okay, I’ll talk. It all started after we beat Sanz Wanz and finished singing the warrior verse afterwards…..”
I set my head back against the sofa as I began to talk, looking up at the ceiling with my hollowed out eyes.
[Iris]: “……heh? Eh? Ah, wait!? Eh!?”
I don’t know who said it or if there was some kind of unspoken consensus, but Lanselva-sama and the other knights rushed towards me all at once to pick me up.
And then……they threw me up into the air as if I weighed nothing.
Look, this is, that? Doh-age?¹ Was that that guy’s name? It’s a guy I’ve had absolutely no connection to even once in my entire life.
My light body danced high up in the sky.
I spun around like a ring back down towards the ground, landing in the knights’ arm. There was a single second where I felt weightless before being thrown back up into the air.
I’ve seen someone get tossed into the air before, but having it done to you is actually really scary.
My line of sight is constantly changing, I can’t tell which way is up or down, and my stomach is starting to get queasy from the floating and falling.
I doubt it’d ever actually happen, but I’m confident I would die if I ever fell on my face after the knights failed to catch me.
[Iris]: “Hey, high, no good, impossibleimpossibleimpossible, stop, please stoppppppppppp!”
I desperately begged them to bring this to an end, but my please were ignored by them all.
Worst of all, even Rose-san, the one person I thought I could rely on no matter what, was giving her all to throwing me alongside everyone else.
She’s having an awful lot of fun with this.
[Grides]: “Heh, so even you make a face like that sometimes. That’s kind of a relief.”
Grides was standing in the middle of the knight crowd and messily smiling up at me in the air.
[Iris]: “Put me down, put me downnnnnnnn!!”
But I didn’t have the leeway to give her an answer at that time since I was too busy screaming through my tears.
[Saluena]: “Any trace of our brave maiden is nowhere to be seen.”
Saluena is the one who felt the need to say something as people continued to fling up into the air over and over again.
I swear, Saluena is the most unreliable person during times like this. Rather, she’s a pro at taking a situation like this and making it even more complicated.
[Saluena]: “Oh look, her underwear.”
[Iris]: “Fue!? Hold on Saluena!! What are you talking about!?”
You see? She’s saying something completely outrageous here of all places.
[Grides]: “Eh, h-her…..underwear?”
[Iris]: “Don’t go honestly taking a look stupid Grides!!”
My skirt had completely failed at its one job, rolling up after the constant up and down movement, so I hurriedly pulled them down.
But this meant Grides would naturally catch an eye full of wool whether she wanted to see or not.
[Saluena]: “They are a supreme item granted to her by a goddess that has served to protect through two different battles against dragons at this point.”
[Grides]: “From the G-Goddess!?”
[Iris]: “Wrong!! My sister!! Well, she’s certainly a goddess from a certain sense! But it’s not……Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!!
But thinking about it, I’m sure Saluena was feeling lonely.
I promised to call her, but I was late to summon her.
It’s not my fault though. Summoning Saluena takes up way too much of my magic power.
I have to be careful when I call her.
[Iris]: “Um, really…..you can put me down now….”
My fate had already been determined the second Rose-san became my enemy.
I am destined to become a toy to be laughed at by everyone around.
Once I realized that, I didn’t feel like resisting anymore.
I had become a dead fish, the victim of the joyful knights celebrating their victory.
[Iris]: “That day, the dragon country of Oshunel faced the greatest crisis in its thousand year history.”
I stretched out both my legs while sitting on the sofa while resting an elbow on the armrest. It’s the kind of sitting posture you expect of an evil boss from a story who is about to give a grand speech.
[Iris]: “However there was the Goddess Knights and the Shirayuri Knights. Those two knight companies made all the difference, and our enemies gained nothing from their attack. Rumors quickly spread throughout the capital, and by the next day, everyone knew the tale…..”
[Carol]: “Did a weird switch get flipped in Iris’s head?”
[Toslin]: “Well, let’s just listen for now.”
[Iris]: “The Goddess Knights who raised their shields and faced the enemy head on. The Shirayuri Knights who appeared when things looks bleak and unleashed grand magic. The poets have already crafted their poems from the tale and sung them across the city…… But!!”
I squeezed my clenched fist.
[Iris]: “There is one other rumor floating around the capital city. Something that sounds weirdly plausible even though it would normally be seen as some stupid joke! Apparently there is an ordinary girl out there who was given a pair of holy wool panties and gained the powers of the Goddess as a result. That girl then became a hero, slaying a dragon to save Relton Village before then defeating the four-winged dragon to protect the capital…..”
[Toslin]: “You mean you?”
[Carol]: “That’s Iris right?”
[Iris]: “Yes, it’s me!”
Once I’d told the whole story, my heart was overcome with pure embarrassment.
[Iris]: “Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!! How did this happen!? Doesn’t this mean it’s only a matter of time before everyone in the city knows I wear wool panties!? What do you think Toslin, Carol!?”
[Toslin]: “Too late. It’s a question of time now.”
[Carol]: “Just give up.”
I got up off the sofa and dove into the bed. I pushed my face into the pillow and screamed while swinging my limbs around.
[Iris]: “The story will soon make its way to Rifront and Soletta…… If things keep going like this, then when I go to other countries…..”
Strangers are going to meet me, and the first thing they will say to me is…..
“Oh, Iris of the Wool Panties”……
[Iris]: “I can’t. If that were to somehow become my title, I…..I’m going to have to retire as an adventurer.”
[Carol]: “Too quick!! It’s still only been two months since you started”
[Toslin]: “Well, people’s interests change every day. Even if you don’t worry about it so much, the rumors will disappear on their own.”
[Iris]: “……Really? It’ll be really soon?”
I buried my head into my pillow again and sighed.
[Carol]: “Well, it’s about that time.”
[Toslin]: “It is. It’ll be bad if we’re late. Come on Iris. Up and at ’em.”
Carol dragged me out of bed and slowly got me up.
Toslin tied a ceremonial sword to the waste of her ceremonial armor as I slumped out of bed.
Speaking of Carol, she’s wearing the same dress the maid-oneesans made her for our audience with the king.
I’m wearing what I usually wear, but I at least slipped on a cloak overtop of my clothes.
As you might have guessed, I have something I need to do outside today.
We aren’t going out especially to have a meal? Well, there will be food at the end, but that isn’t the express purpose.
[Noelia]: “Calvafon-sama, Tosrillon-sama, Carotayle-sama. The carriage is ready.”
Noelia-san opened the door and entered the room.
She gave a firm bow as a maid like she always does to greet us before giving us an update.
[Toslin]: “Yosh, we aren’t forgetting anything?”
[Toslin]: “Mm, good”
Seeing us both nod, Toslin answered on our behalf. I slapped my cheeks with both hands to force myself to change my mood.
[Iris]: “Then Noelia-san, we’re in your care.”
[Noelia]: “Yes, understood.”
Leaving the room, we walked down the hallway with Noelia-san in the lead.
Our destination is the church.
After some healthy procrastination, today is the day of Rose-san’s investiture ceremony.
1. Doh-age is what Japanese people call it when you throw someone into the air to celebrate. I could’ve translated it, but I kept it as is because of the joke immediately after.